He's Two

On Sunday we had Brian's second birthday party. It was a Winnie the Pooh Hundred Acre Wood barbecue. Everything was pretty laid back. Paul cooked the Ballpark hot dogs, burgers, and veggie burgers on his new grill (Fathers' Day present). We had four large bowls of fruit: black seedless grapes, strawberries, blueberries, and cherries. Also included was a pasta salad, variety pack of chips, baked beans, and fixins for the meat (relish, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, celery salt, pickles, buns).



The cake was pre-ordered from Costco: A white cake with vanilla cream cheese filling and decorated with balloons. I added a Tigger and Pooh toy from The Disney Store. Here's some pictures of the decorations: Here's a picture of the cake:



The Guest of Honor was still sleeping when the guests showed up. He slept for forty minutes after the party started (it didn't help that Grandpa turned on the stereo). Brian was very foggy when he woke up. He didn't want to go down and see people. So, he hung out upstairs with Auntie Lisa, Uncle Eric, and his cousins Courtney, Allison, and Lauren while they played pool. After a small meal (encouraged by Lauren) of hot dog, fruit, and pasta salad, Brian decided he could come downstairs for presents. Literally the only thing that lured the child downstairs was presents and cake. This is not normal Brian behavior. Usually he is Mr. Social Butterfly.



Present opening with a 2 year old is very different than present opening with a 1 year old. Courtney was designated by Brian to be the helper. He would try to open something and then take it to her to open it. He also would call all the cards "mail," halfway open the present corresponding to the "mail," discard both, and move on to another gift. He liked everything he got. Toys seemed to be preferred to clothes even though for weeks he has been asking us for new clothes and to go to clothes stores.



Here are some pictures of opening presents: Actually working on a video clip for this...see comment about opening presents with two year olds to figure out why the pics didn't turn out so good.



After the presents were opened, it was time for cake. Right before it was time to sing, Grandpa and Uncle Andrew went outside and started the bonfire. So, Brian had to go check it out with Uncle Eric ad Daddy. Then everyone came inside to sing. Brian blew out the one small candle without any help. I helped with the big 2. He was nicely waiting for me to cut the cake when Grandpa showed Brian he could stick his fingers in the icing.



Bonfire



The party lasted for a while. Most of the guests left by 8 pm. Truthfully, I didn't get to talk very much with anyone until it was time for them to leave! I was busy making sure everything was running. Even though, the party was a success :)

Roller Coaster Ride

I want to say thank-you to everyone who has helped us. Secondly, I started this blog to write about my thoughts and feelings, so I am going to do that.



It's been roughly 3 months since we lost our second child. And it still hurts some days. Other days are okay. The first couple weeks were the hardest. How do you tell people what happened when they didn't know you were pregnant? I just tell them. In emails and phone calls, I told my closest Friends. In person for one of them just last weekend. No one knows what to say. Everyone tries to say things they think are comforting including (but not limited to): you're young, you shouldn't have a problem getting pregnant again, these things happen, they're quite common now, and numerous other phrases. Since the words are meant in a comforting tone (not to hurt) I accept everything anyone has told me, even though the words hurt. The exception is one sentence: It's better this way. It is not. It is awful to lose a child in any way. Whether born or unborn. No one likes to talk about it. But it should be talked about. I supported March of Dimes before this happened; now I support them even more. The best thing people have said to me is I'm sorry and left it at that.



We are left without any solid answers. And have to accept it. For anyone who may be wondering, my illness did not cause this to happen. That much we know. Odds are it was a chromosomal abnormality. Odds are it should only happen once. That doesn't make the loss any easier. Each day does seem to get a little better. I can look at pregnant women without being jealous of them or feeling betrayed by my own body. I can hold some one esle's new born without crying for mine (easier than I expected it to be). I can shop for others' babies without crying. My heart still aches, and that will never go away completely, but it will get better. I know it.



I have Brian. He is wonderful! He is smart, caring, playful, and has a big imagination. He is saying sentences and having conversations with people and his stuffed animals. He drinks with a straw now, eats mostly with a spoon (unless it's more fun to use his fingers), and sleeps in a big bed (mattress on the floor). He goes up the stairs standing up while holding on to your hand. He still slides down on his belly. He goes down slides by himself. He runs. New words are learned everyday. He tells me when the cats need more food and when he wants food. He helps with the dishes (emptying and filling the dishwasher). And honestly, there are days he drives me crazy. But that's okay. He is a normal, happy, healthy toddler. He weighed in at his 2 year well baby check at 29 pounds and was measured to be 34 inches tall.